Let's Talk About Sex and Survivorship
When I was in high school I remember watching my first sex ed video. It was a late 80s VHS tape of a couple meeting, dating, side glances, then WHAM! a baby is coming out of a vagina. The rest of the class included passing around pictures of what had to be the worst cases of STDs they could find. There were snarky comments and a teacher trying to ignore them and have a serious conversation. Everything about that class was awkward and uncomfortable. I think I could have had a better experience and more information if the teacher had just put on American Pie.
I think this is something that happens a bit for people with cancer, maybe not the horrible pictures of STDs and live birth, but there are so many questions left unanswered. Studies show that many cancer survivors feel sex and intimacy is an area that is greatly under-discussed with providers.
So today, I am going to go over some common concerns for cancer survivors and how to address them.
Vaginal Dryness
Whether you had treatment to the pelvic area or your treatment has pushed you into early menopause, vaginal dryness is a real issue that can impact the pleasure of having sex with your partner. You might be aroused but your body is not able to provide the lubrication it was once able to produce.
Some tips for managing vaginal dryness:
-Get a good lubricant. One of my favorite brands to recommend to people is Sliquid. This brand is great and has 15 different lubricant products including organic. They do have water-based lubricants, but I prefer to recommend the silicone based ones. Unlike the water-based lubricants, your body does not absorb silicone. So if you are finding you have to reapply frequently, check out Sliquid Silver.
-Avoid mineral oil/vaseline, douching, and heavily perfumed products that might cause yeast infections.
Worried About Exposing Your Partner to Chemotherapy/Radiation
It takes about 48-72 hours for chemotherapy to clear your system. During that time, you should use condoms or barrier methods so you do not risk exposing your partner to chemotherapy.
Unless you have implanted seeds or have been told to take precautions, you are not considered radioactive after treatment and if you are up to it, can totally have sex.
Ostomy Devices
Having an ostomy device can take some time getting used to with sex and it can take time to get comfortable having sex again. Some tips include:
-Empty the pouch before hand.
-Wearing an opaque bag.
-Getting lingerie designed to conceal the ostomy pouches such as these form Cancer Be Glammed or less glamorous but functional Stealth Belt.
Body Changes
For many survivors, cancer does impact their body image. They worry their scars make them less attractive to their partners. I have seen different ways people handle scars from tattoos to reconstruction to wearing clothing that cover them. Going into an intimate moment thinking you are ugly or destroyed will not make you feel sexier. You do not get to control whether someone else finds you sexy, but you can decide how you feel about yourself. Make a decision whenever you are going to be intimate or have sex that your partner is damn lucky to be with you, scars and all.
Resources
Mayo Clinic: Prostate Cancer Brachytherapy & Seeds
Vaginal Dryness
I think this is something that happens a bit for people with cancer, maybe not the horrible pictures of STDs and live birth, but there are so many questions left unanswered. Studies show that many cancer survivors feel sex and intimacy is an area that is greatly under-discussed with providers.
So today, I am going to go over some common concerns for cancer survivors and how to address them.
Vaginal Dryness
Whether you had treatment to the pelvic area or your treatment has pushed you into early menopause, vaginal dryness is a real issue that can impact the pleasure of having sex with your partner. You might be aroused but your body is not able to provide the lubrication it was once able to produce.
Some tips for managing vaginal dryness:
-Get a good lubricant. One of my favorite brands to recommend to people is Sliquid. This brand is great and has 15 different lubricant products including organic. They do have water-based lubricants, but I prefer to recommend the silicone based ones. Unlike the water-based lubricants, your body does not absorb silicone. So if you are finding you have to reapply frequently, check out Sliquid Silver.
-Avoid mineral oil/vaseline, douching, and heavily perfumed products that might cause yeast infections.
Worried About Exposing Your Partner to Chemotherapy/Radiation
It takes about 48-72 hours for chemotherapy to clear your system. During that time, you should use condoms or barrier methods so you do not risk exposing your partner to chemotherapy.
Unless you have implanted seeds or have been told to take precautions, you are not considered radioactive after treatment and if you are up to it, can totally have sex.
Ostomy Devices
Having an ostomy device can take some time getting used to with sex and it can take time to get comfortable having sex again. Some tips include:
-Empty the pouch before hand.
-Wearing an opaque bag.
-Getting lingerie designed to conceal the ostomy pouches such as these form Cancer Be Glammed or less glamorous but functional Stealth Belt.
Body Changes
For many survivors, cancer does impact their body image. They worry their scars make them less attractive to their partners. I have seen different ways people handle scars from tattoos to reconstruction to wearing clothing that cover them. Going into an intimate moment thinking you are ugly or destroyed will not make you feel sexier. You do not get to control whether someone else finds you sexy, but you can decide how you feel about yourself. Make a decision whenever you are going to be intimate or have sex that your partner is damn lucky to be with you, scars and all.
Resources
Mayo Clinic: Prostate Cancer Brachytherapy & Seeds
Vaginal Dryness
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